How are mental health and faith related?
Depending on who you talk to, psychological science and Christian faith can either be seen as competing value systems with opposing end goals, or complementary avenues for understanding and pursuing human flourishing. And while there are certainly psychological theories that align more or less closely with a Christian view of life, there does not need to be an inherent opposition between pursuing a life of deep faith and a life of vibrant emotional and psychological health.
All Aspects of Human Flourishing Matter To God
Faith and spirituality can be a profound resource that supports our mental health, offering (among so many other things) a meaning-making system and a source of hope. And psychological health and awareness can make us more effective in our faith, and emotionally mature enough to minister to others from a place of health. When we can draw on the best of psychological resources and faith resources at the same time, we can grow more fully into the thriving, multidimensional human beings God made us to be.
Psychology and Christian Faith Can Be Friends
Back in May 2020, when all of us were still deep in the early stages of pandemic anxiety, trying to keep our kids creatively entertained during lockdown and gradually restocking our toilet paper, Revival LA hosted an awesome virtual talk and Q&A called “A Conversation About Mental Health and Faith” that I was privileged to be part of. There is so much packed into this talk that is clear, hopeful, and articulates the profound relationship and connection between mental health and faith. You’ll hear both from Christian professionals in the mental health field and ordinary Christians who have wrestled with mental illness. I hope you’ll settle in with some tea and a pair of headphones and give this a good listen, whether you’re dealing with mental health challenges, supporting someone who is, or just curious about how mental health and Christian faith go together.
The panel of presenters also includes Dr. Deb Gorton (Gary Chapman Chair of Marriage and Family Ministry and Therapy at Moody Theological Seminary), John and Marina Stratton (recording artists and worship leaders), and Iza De Leon (Director of Operations for Revival LA). I hope you’ll check it out and be encouraged by what you hear!
“From the Perspective of a Counselor”
Here’s the transcript of what I shared (for you visual processors out there), beginning around minute 13:21:
Dustin Lang, moderator ("DL”): What kinds of trends have you noticed amongst those who seek mental health services these days?”
Rachel Engels, LMFT (“RE”): “What I see come through the door fits the medical criteria for all these different diagnoses – anxiety, depression, etc., etc. – but when it comes down to it, a lot of what people are dealing with is no different from anyone else in the general population…it has just reached a level where it’s interfering with their functioning.
“What’s really interesting to me is that even though I work a lot with anxiety, trauma – some of these specific diagnosable issues — a theme that keeps recurring, at least with a lot of my clients, is that it’s women with complicated relationships with their fathers. So when you start to peel back the biological piece, the medical piece, the diagnostic piece, there’s so much influence in critical relationships in our lives that drive a lot of mental health and mental illness – so I’m definitely seeing that theme play out.”
DL: “Would you elaborate on that a bit? How do relationships influence our mental health?”
RE: “There’s so much overlap there. And part of the reason relationships have such a strong impact on our mental health is, I believe, that we were designed for relationship originally. That’s part of what it means to be in God’s image — that God is in constant relationship with himself as the three Persons of the Trinity. He desires relationship with us. And that was part of the point of the Garden of Eden – we were meant to dwell with God, and with each other – to enjoy that, to enjoy taking care of his creation. And then the Fall tainted every aspect of that. So we were kicked out of the garden and out of God’s presence, there was enmity between the man and the woman, thorns and thistles came up and made the work with the earth much more difficult. And so when we’re in a world that’s broken by sin like that — whether it’s our individual sin, collective, generational, institutional – we so often find, in relationship to the other people and systems around us, that we don’t get what we need to thrive. And that’s where the dysfunction starts to take root.
“Other people routinely disappoint, and even harm us (and we may do the same). We start to feel unsafe in the world, or suspicious of others, or hesitant to be in relationship. And then, because we’re so interconnected – love for God, love for others – we start to get suspicious of God, too. Can he really take care of me? Does he really care about me? Because the people that reflect him are not doing that. So that’s when we see some of the mental health symptomatology increase – depression increases, anxiety increases, insomnia, all of those things. And so in that way, I think, relationships have a really critical part to play, where sin has this cyclical and generational effect in propagating symptoms of mental illness, because it routinely, repeatedly breaks down the life-sustaining relationships that we’re meant to have with each other and with God. So that’s what broken relationships do to our mental health.
“But on the other hand, relationships can also be a doorway into our healing, and help us to experience greater well-being, and experience God’s love again. When we encounter somebody who’s filled with the love of God, they demonstrate, just like Jesus did, that we can be loved even in spite of our imperfection. And that was one of the coolest moments recently with a client – we weren’t even talking about faith, but it was her experience of being accepted when she was sharing a very shameful thing. She told me afterwards, “That was a spiritual experience for me; that’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud, and I felt so loved.” So when we experience that reality from other people — that we can be loved and we can be safe — it makes us more able to trust that God is good. It becomes easier for us to endure hardship, because we have a community to lean on, and we have a faith narrative that says there can still be meaning in the midst of suffering.
“So relationships can either reflect God’s love and goodness to us, and draw us into greater congruence with who he made us to be, or they can be a painful barrier that keeps us from experiencing his love, and fullness of life. And so for some people, a relationship with a therapist might be the first safe place they ever had to access that. For some people, it’s the church community – that’s where they find safety after a family of origin experience that was really wounding. So, as followers of Christ, when we can mirror Christ in our lives – in our words and our actions – we either make the love of God more believable, or we make others question how God could possibly be good. And so I think in that way, we can either speak truth into others’ lives in a way that fosters their freedom and growth -- and what I would call mental health: the ability to rest securely in the love of God – or, we can repeat the painful wounds that foster mental illness.”
DL: “I appreciate the fact you commented on the way relationships can hurt us, but they can also heal us – that just gives so much hope, that as members of the body of Christ, we can go out and we can show people that we’re safe people, they can come as they are, be accepted, experience grace, and ultimately the gospel.
“What would you say to someone – maybe even someone on this call who has gone through pain in their past relationships and is struggling with their mental health. What are some words you would share with them?”
RE: “The first thing that comes to mind is a passage from 1 Peter 4 (verses 12-13), which says, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial that has come upon you as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” And when I read that, it just comes home to me that our suffering is not a surprise to God. It’s not unknown to God. And we have a God who cares so deeply about our suffering that he willingly entered into it: took on a human form, was born into an oppressed people group, was a refugee with his family, endured utter rejection from the people who were closest to him, was wrongfully accused, died the most painful and humiliating death possible – so that we could be free from the effects of sin and suffering in the world and in relationship. And so, to remember that your suffering is something that Jesus died to heal – that he cares that deeply about your wholeness, and our collective wholeness.
“And what also really just blows me away, that I find so encouraging, is that Jesus didn’t only spend his time on earth preaching salvation for souls, but healing people’s physical diseases, and casting out the demons that caused them mental suffering, and feeding food to the hungry. So Jesus cares about your soul, but he also cares deeply about your body, and your mind, and your relationships. And he lived and died and overcame death the demonstrate that. So you can trust him to guide you and provide for you in the process of working toward that wholeness. And ask him for wisdom, because he gives that gladly – in terms of where to look for healing: where to find the right therapist, the right friend, the right medication, mentor, spiritual director. Because God’s in the business of restoring things, and he never wastes a difficult experience that he can use to shape us and equip us for the life he has in store.“
DL: “Amen, amen. So good. ‘He never wastes a difficult experience.’ I appreciate that you shared that; it reminds me of C.S. Lewis’ quote in the book, The Problem of Pain, where he says, ‘God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.’ “
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From the Q&A time (minute 1:15:13):
DL: “One of the questions directed towards you is, ‘What’s so unique about the father relationship to both sons and daughters that affects their mental health, and how does that affect those who deal with mental health issues with their relationship to God the Father?’
RE: “I will say it’s not just unique to fathers – it’s definitely mothers, as well, and it’s a lot of pressure on parents, because we are the first formative influences in our children’s lives. But when we study the area of faith development, a lot of the expectations we have toward God and what he’s like and what his role is – are shaped vaguely around the images we have of our parents, in their behavior and their treatment toward us. So ‘what about fathers and mothers affects children’s mental health’ is a whole lot. Obviously, none of us will ever be perfect parents, and I joke sometimes that there are endless ways to screw up your children -- and thankfully the grace of God covers many of them, and “Love covers over a multitude of sins” – but we as parents convey to our children their basic lovability; their basic sense of safety in the world, how much do they have to perform to please us. You know, all these little implicit messages that get sent in every interaction become part of the makeup that helps them adjust easily to life, or burdens them with a lot of extra anxiety and difficulty.
“And so, the way that that affects our relationship to God, with regard to mental health issues, is that the lessons and the messages we’ve learned from our parents – if we don’t check them — we easily apply them to God. And we can see God as a critical, or controlling, or withholding-of-affection kind of God, when that’s not who he shows himself to be in Scripture and in history. So it’s something to actively be aware of when it comes to, “What are those mental messages I’ve learned or taken in about the way that God views me? What’s the look on his face when he sees me?” And if it’s anything that’s not 100% love, then we have some work to do to correct those ideas.”
Ways to Delve Deeper
If you’d like to read more on re-framing your view of God as a good and loving father, check out the fantastic book by James Bryan Smith called The Good and Beautiful God: Falling in Love with the God Jesus Knows.
If you want to learn more about how to find a good therapist in your area — someone who fits your price range, preferred approach, and even your value system — check out my detailed and informative blog post on How to Find a Good Therapist.
If you’d like to chat with me about beginning therapy together, feel free to reach out to me at 626-598-6234 or use the Contact form to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.
I’m eager for you to experience the fullness of flourishing that God designed you for — mentally, spiritually, relationally, psychologically, and all the rest. May you keep seeking to grow and heal, knowing that you were made for fullness of life.